Looking for Love in all the Wrong Places


©2012 Stan Hallett

Looking for LoveThe Bible says that God is Love (1 John 4:7-8). God is not to Love as apple pie is to good.  God is to love as apple pie is to apple pie. . . God IS Love!  I can tell you that apple pie is good, but you will never know for yourself until you get some apple pie inside of you.  Likewise you will never know just how good God is until He dwells inside of you (Acts 2:4).

Further, you cannot really know what love is until you are filled with His Spirit (Romans 5:5). Without Him we are only capable of loving within the limits of our flesh.  Many of us have a certain amount of love for our children, our siblings, our parents and perhaps our spouses.  All too often this love is conditional.  As long as they are kind and loving toward us we often can love them back.

The law was our schoolmaster (Galatians 3:24-25). What we could not achieve in our flesh under the law, now through His Spirit the dwells with us and in us, we can be obey the commandment to love our neighbor as ourselves (Mark 12:33).

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, temperance: against such there is no law (Galatians 5:22-23).

But the greatest of these is LOVE  (1 Corinthians 13:13).

Ye shall know them by their fruits. Do men gather grapes of thorns, or figs of thistles (Matthew 7:16)?

Henry David Thoreau  (1817-1862) said that “most men lead lives of quiet desperation“. He made a keen observation, but did not truly realize the full truth of it.  Most of mankind spends their entire lifetime searching for love, never truly finding it. Many, if not most never realize that love of God is indeed what they seek.

There is a country song that come out around 1980 with the main lyric of “lookin’ for love in all the wrong places”.  We spend our entire lives looking for God and being deceived that what we are looking for is everywhere else but in God.

Many marry thinking they found love, never truly know what love is.  We marry for all the wrong reasons.  When we marry because of the lust, the attraction fades with the flower of what originally attracted us. All too often that marriage ends in divorce.

We live in a “me” generation which says; “as long as I get what I want”. Remember God is love.  A Godless marriage is a loveless marriage.

Do you want a blessed marriage where you are truly loved, and can be truly happy? It’s probably not that cute guy with the hot car, and great job.  It’s probably not the gorgeous, sexy looking “chick”.  No, the recipe for a wonderful loving, blessed marriage is the one that begins with YOU being in a right relationship with GOD, having obeyed the gospel and walking in a close relationship with God, full of the Holy Ghost.

What you want for a mate is exactly the same things.  Let me say right here with all sincerity that what will be most attractive to a Godly man is a Godly women, and what is most attractive to a Godly woman is a Godly man.

If you use a fly you’ll catch a trout or a bass.  If you use cut bait (flesh) you’ll catch a shark. If a young lady uses bait such as provocative dress, appearance or actions to lure a man into a relationship, she may not be happy with the catch.

Let me say something here to the young singles. Do not strive over being married or finding the right husband or the right wife.  God knows the desires of your heart and your needs even before you ask of Him.

However, this also does not mean that we should hide ourselves away, all the while praying that God send us a mate.  We need to pray that God will direct our paths, and then step out in faith seeking environments where God can work to bring us that equally yoked mate. The Church and similar environments is a good start.

“Love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind, and with all thy strength (Mark 12:30) and when it is in God’s timing the man or woman God has for you will be standing before you.

Be patient and wait on God.  The Word of God is full of examples of the grief that we can bring on ourselves when we become impatient and take matters into our own hands.  When it is God’s choice and His time, you will know.

Love is the greatest test whereby we can know if we are full of the Holy Ghost and in a right standing before God.  Do you love your neighbor as yourself?  Or, do you mutter under your breath when someone cuts you off in traffic?  Are you at odds with ANY brother or sister? Love is the greatest test of our right standing with God.

If a man say, I love God, and hateth his brother, he is a liar: for he that loveth not his brother whom he hath seen, how can he love God whom he hath not seen (1 John 4:20)?

The only way that you can be filled with Love is to be filled with God.  The only way to be filled with God is to be full of the Holy Ghost, which is the Spirit of God manifested to man.  The only way that you can be filled with the Holy Ghost is to first, obey the gospel (Acts 2:38, 1 Corinthians 15:1-4), then continue to walk in the newness of life (Romans 6:4). This means to be continually full of the Holy Ghost.  That means to be in continual relationship and communication with God (see No Oil. No Light).

There are some television shows that have been around for the last few years called things like ‘American Idol’ and the ‘X Factor’. Every once in a while someone will have an audition that has great singing talent. Often even during their debut performance the large crowd will stand to their feet and applaud, sway, shout, all showing their acceptance and appreciation, including the judges.

If the contestant had great talent there will be an uproar of applause and shouting at the conclusion of the performance. This almost always brings even many male contestants to tears, unable to contain themselves. Why? Because of the great affection, appreciation and acceptance being bestowed upon them. It gave them great joy, albeit short-lived. This is why many seek fame in the first place. They really are seeking love and acceptance. However, should they lose their talent, their beauty, or whatever it was, they would just as quickly lose the acceptance, the appreciation, and the perceived love.

Everyone is seeking the satisfaction and the joy that can only come from the Love of God, and they do not realize it. They look for satisfaction, they look to be fulfilled, they look for acceptance in virtually every place, and everything but God. Most never turn to God until God is all that they have left, if even then.

Many look for satisfaction and fulfillment in relationships, in success, in obtaining wealth, in drugs, in alcohol, in power, in sex, in material things like houses, cars, and the list goes on. Most people who by the world’s standards have achieved great success, wealth, fame, still are never satisfied and often turn to drugs and all too often eventually suicide.

Even born-again, Christians often struggle with these things. Many are all too easily get caught up with success, entertainment, and the things of this world. They lose their way, all the while having the Holy Ghost within them and the power to overcome, and still lose out with God. How sad.

I’m not talking about just going to Church, praying when you think of it, reading the Bible from time to time, and trying to act like a Christian. I’m talking about being in a one-on-one, intimate, covenant relationship with God. What about you?

Do you have questions?  Feel free to write to me via my contact form.

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